Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thirty Two Days

One of things I gave up when I got collared was the privilege of jerking off whenever I wanted. I'm simultaneously dismayed and excited by this fact of life. On the one hand, I really enjoyed masturbating just like any(every)one else. Some of my best fantasies came out of those late nights right before I went to sleep. Opposite that, this restriction is one of the most powerful ways Loki can exert His control over me (thusly creating a positive feedback loop of being turned on and unable to do anything about, which gets me more turned on etc etc). Furthermore, when I do finally get to cum, the endorphin rush is powerful enough to make me curl up in a ball on the floor and giggle uncontrollably. That never happened before.

Part of this is pushing myself and seeing how long I can last. So far, I've asked (yes, asked) Loki if I could go for two weeks and then the month of November without shooting. I'm supremely pleased to report that I managed both of those periods without any real problems. That said, the month challenge was particularly difficult. For the first half, I kept telling myself that He'd break and let me shoot before the end of November. The latter half had me wondering about when I would actually be allowed to shoot again. He kept hinting that He wasn't going to let me do it until MAL or after that. There was a constant "will He/won't He" back in forth in my head during this time.

I spent last three weeks of November in a Bon4 chastity device on-loan from a friend. Enforced chastity is one of my all-time top favorite fetishes and actually being able to experience it was incredibly eye-opening. Where my previous experiments with a CB-6000 failed (I'm a bit big for it, good problem to have) the Bon4 was much more forgiving in that department. Another problem I've run into in the past is my foreskin. I'm uncut, so wearing a device and using the restroom can be a bit of a problem. The Bon4 was flexible enough that I was able to position the foreskin so as to avoid any unwanted issues.

Actually living out this fetish was interesting. Every time I went to touch/grab myself I ended up with a handful of sculpted silicone and almost no stimulation. Getting hard meant having my balls pulled painfully until it went away. And the midnight boner? Absolute murder. Copious amounts of lube on the ring helped keep chafing under control but it never lasted long enough.

So. 32 days after I last jerked off, I found myself at Loki's with a few hours to kill before lunch. What to do what to do what to do… I hadn't been excepting any sort of play or scene to happen, so I was pleasantly surprised when he told me to get undressed. This is honestly one of my favorite parts of any scene. Up until my pants come off, Loki and I are relatively well-behaved. A nice hug, a quick peck on the cheek. Once I'm down to my underwear though, His instincts seem to take over and He spends a few minutes essentially playing with His property. After that was all set and done, He tied my wrists to a swivel chair in His office and blindfolded me.

By this point, I was expecting Him to edge me for an hour or so and then cut me loose without any gratification. And then at about 45 minutes in, He told me to shoot. A few strokes later and all that pent up energy was released all at once. It was amazing beyond words. I was aware one the post-orgasm sensitivity boost but I had never done anything with it until now. Loki continued to stroke me well after I'd blown my load and He didn't stop. The sensitivity increased and a began to simultaneously laugh my head off and shriek in pain. As it turns out, I'm incredibly responsive to milking.

Now that I've had some real-world experience with chastity, both honor-based and enforced, I find myself thinking about getting off more frequently. Having it added to the reward/punishment cycle is a huge motivator for me to do what He says and expects. It is the most powerful tool of control He has over me and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And since you stuck it out, here's a pic of me right after He tied me to the chair and let me shoot.

1 comment:

  1. WOOF!! That is a super hot pic! :-D

    Yea, I know what you mean - before I met Daddy Tony, I was a 2 to 3 times a day masturbator, but now I give that to him, so sometimes end up going 4-12 days between orgasms!

    I'll admit, I've had moments of weakness and I've always told him about it after - accepting my punishment, but I love that you wore a chastity device for those 3 weeks - something I've not tried but is on my list!!

    I have a CB2000, but I can slide out of it no problem - @RubberFreak just got a new pod with a locking PA ring... I'm thinking of asking for that for my birthday, cause that would be perfect! Once I found out I could get out of the chastity device with a little effort, it instantly lost all eroticism for me, so I need to find one that I can't escape from!

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